Pain
by A Spot of Bother
Summary: Riku can't even pretend.


(A/N): For SKF, because she's great fun to talk to and because the way she writes Riku owns my soul. I did so many things with this I swore I'd never do, first and foremost implied one-sided RikuSora. But if SKF can step outside of her comfort zone and write me a truly beautiful fic with my favorite pairing, I can try and do the same with one of hers. Hope it doesn't disappoint.

Disclaimer: Until I amass a fortune large enough to allow me to engage in a fruitless, frivolous custody battle, I will never own these characters.

Pain

Riku stared into the simulated sky, helpless groans snaking their way out of his throat as the Nobody jerked him off with quick, hard strokes. This was wrong, he told himself hazily. The blond shadow of his best friend wasn't someone (no one) he should be doing this with. Roxas – not Sora, _not_ Sora – pulled back, and Riku glanced wildly down at the blue-eyed Nobody, jerking his gaze away from the body that he still couldn't bring to call his own, golden eyes resting instead on Roxas's curiously flat expression.

"You're not him," Roxas said tonelessly, and Riku blinked before covering his confusion with a frown. Roxas glanced around, seemingly bewildered, and Riku realized some form of memory, no matter how hazy, must have temporarily broken through Namine's careful labors. Taking another step back, Roxas glanced up at him accusingly, fingers tightening in a reflexive gesture. "Who are you?"

His expression was too much like Sora's had been that night on the Islands – lost, confused, _scared_, and Riku bent and gripped his chin firmly in one hand, pressing their lips together in a bruising kiss. His chest ached as the boy – the _Nobody_ – struggled against him. He would never have done this if it had been Sora, but Roxas was not Sora – not at all. Not in the ways that counted.

And Namine would ensure he didn't remember any of this.

Roxas shoved him back, breathing hard. "You're not him," he repeated, wiping his mouth against the back of his hand. "Get the hell away from me." Riku bit back a groan of frustration, watching the blond turn and begin to sprint away.

"I'm not," he confirmed, watching the Nobody pause in the street. Roxas turned back to face him, and Riku closed his eyes and slumped against the wall. He didn't look a thing like Sora – but he did. It tore at him every day, the ways Roxas was and wasn't his best friend; but Roxas was no innocent, and Riku had wanted impure things from Sora for far too long. Now, with his friend's awakening drawing ever closer, Riku knew this would be his only chance. "I'm not," he repeated hoarsely. "But I can tell you where he is."

Roxas's eyes narrowed before he stalked back up to Riku. Slamming a fist into the wall beside Riku's shoulder, he regarded him narrowly. "What do you want?" he snarled, and Riku saw Sora behind his eyes. He raised a trembling hand and tangled his fingers in Roxas's hair, pulling his head back until the Nobody winced in pain. If he hadn't known better, he would've called the hard light in those eyes anger.

When he bent to kiss him again, Roxas remained still underneath him, passively allowing Riku to force his mouth open and slip his tongue past his lips. Riku frowned against the blond's lips, pulling back slightly to get a better look at his face. "Bastard," Roxas hissed suddenly, grabbing the collar of Riku's dark coat and yanking him away from the wall. Before Riku could react, Roxas slammed him to the ground, dropping to his knees as he straddled Riku's waist. Riku stifled an involuntary groan, hips bucking before he could stop them.

Glaring down at him, Roxas wrestled himself out his vest, pressing hard kisses against Riku's mouth until Riku had to jerk his head away, chest heaving as he gasped for air. Roxas stripped his shirt off, sending it sailing off to the side as he bit at Riku's neck, leaving marks that would most likely darken into bruises. Riku fumbled desperately with the zipper to the blond's pants, moving his hands to grip Roxas's hips tightly when the Nobody slapped them away impatiently.

"You want to remember that badly?" he panted, moaning when Roxas rocked back against his straining erection.

"Shut up," Roxas snarled, and Riku managed to frown. Ignoring him, Roxas slid out of his pants and boxers, kicking them to the side before he bent and began tugging insistently at Riku's. Riku's eyes widened. Scowling at his hesitation, Roxas wrapped a hand around his cock, tightening his grip until it was almost painful. "This way or not at all," he whispered, bending to lick slowly across the head.

Riku's hips bucked violently, and Roxas released his erection to drag his pants down. Yanking the boot from Riku's right foot, he stripped the dark clothing out of his way as he crawled between the older boy's legs. Eyes glinting, he shoved his fingers in Riku's mouth, and Riku bit down impatiently. "Bastard," Roxas hissed. Riku scowled.

"Be quiet," he ordered, and Roxas's eyes widened before they narrowed, a cruel smirk stretching his lips. Ducking his head, he jabbed two fingers into Riku, ignoring his strained protests as he stretched him open. Riku writhed against the invasion, seizing up when Roxas bent and lightly sucked his cock. Roxas glanced up at him, frowning.

"Relax," he muttered, wiggling his fingers, smirking at the way Riku flushed and groaned. Riku's hands skittered across the pavement, searching for something solid to cling to. This wasn't at all what he'd thought it would be – he couldn't even pretend the fingers stretching him open belonged to Sora, because Sora would never have been so rough.

Then again, Sora would never look at him the way Roxas was – in spite of the faux anger and irritation, those blue eyes were fogged with lust.

Riku's breathing was just beginning to even out when Roxas removed his fingers and lifted Riku's hips. Riku barely realized what Roxas intended to do before the blond pressed forward, shoving his way into Riku as the older boy screamed. Roxas paused, bending to press a passionless kiss against Riku's lips. "You wanted this," he reminded him, voice dripping with disdain.

Riku squeezed his eyes shut as Roxas wrapped a hand around his cock and began to move inside him, timing his thrusts with his hips to those with his hand. Gradually the pain faded into other, more pleasurable sensations, and soon Riku was rocking up against Roxas, lifting his hips to meet the Nobody's thrusts. With his eyes closed, with the only sounds their mingled gasps and groans, it was easier to pretend it was Sora above him, Sora inside him, and Riku lost himself in the rhythm of their bodies.

He arched his back as he came violently, a strangled cry escaping his lips. "_Sora_!"

When he opened his eyes, Roxas was frozen above him, eyes wide with shock. Riku flinched and cut his eyes away from the Nobody guiltily. "What did you say?" Roxas asked quietly, scrambling back, and Riku's breath caught as Roxas slipped out of him. Catching his arm before he could retreat beyond his reach, Riku forced darkness through the slim Nobody, watching the light in those blue eyes dim and finally vanish as Roxas slumped over.

Collapsing back to the ground, Riku stared up at the digital town reaching for the simulated sky above him. He'd have to get cleaned up, then have Namine wipe this episode from Roxas's mind. And then…Sora would wake up.

Riku wiped a shaking hand over his face, glancing at Roxas's crumpled form. Pulling himself up, he traced the Nobody's cheek with one finger, suddenly pulling back as if he'd been struck. He would've sworn the anguish he'd seen in the boy's eyes was real.

He laughed humorlessly as he stumbled to his feet.

Gazing down at himself, Riku swallowed thickly. He wouldn't stay once Sora was awakened. He'd never allow Sora to see him again. He wasn't worthy of the Light.

Roxas made a small noise in his forced slumber, brow furrowed, and Riku wondered if Nobodies had nightmares. Not that it mattered. Summoning a portal to the darkness, Riku stepped into the shadowed corridor, ignoring the shudder that teased its way up his spine. He could make his home here – if it meant keeping Sora safe.


End file.
